Perhaps you’re irritated by everything, find people stupid and don’t mind taking your frustrations out on the world. Above all, you could care less how many people are targeted and casualties of your anger. We’ve all experienced that one person always angry and miserable for what appears to be for no other reason than it happens to be a Tuesday (or whatever day of the week it is), lashing out at everyone. We have all experienced anger and some struggle with this emotion more than others. Here are some healthy tips to help take control when you feel overwhelmed with rage.
What Is Anger? | Anger Management
How to Control Anger w/ Deep Breathing | Anger Management
Don’t do anything! The worst thing you can do is act out of anger (through an email, start a dialogue, use social media to vent) and do something you will regret later. Take a step back to gather your emotions, this can be a great time to excuse yourself, take a mental break and gather up your feelings and thoughts to re approach the situation again a bit later with a cooler head.
When you feel the rage coming on, acknowledge it. Yes you are angry and it’s okay to be. People want to feel validated and/or acknowledged and you’re no different. Therefore, validate your own feelings in order for you to move on. You are entitled to have feelings about something, but you are not allowed to make everyone pay for it.
Anger is an energy that is powerful and can be transferable. Have you ever encountered a negative or angry person in the room, leaving you drained and frustrated yourself? What happened was a transferal of energy, therefore be accountable about what energy you are bringing into a room or situation.
Be the Hero
Even if you feel you’re not at fault, think of ways to handle things different in order to gain the best outcome possible. You cannot control what other people do; however you can control your behavior in the situation. Don’t be that person always sucking the air out of the room because you want to have the last word. Like Judge E. Lynn Toler of Divorce Court often asks “Would you rather be right or be happy?”
Make Every “Negative” Situation a Purposeful One
Look at negative situations as a test; a challenge to help you reach the next phase of your life. If you run away from situations or have an “It’s everyone else that has a problem not me” kind of attitude, you will be doomed to play out the same scenario over and over again. Deflection will cause you to miss the whole lesson in which you were supposed to grow from.
Anger is often a symptom of deep rooted sadness which often is used a defense mechanism to protect oneself. I recognize that you are hurt, but just remember everyone has a story and if you were assigned a human experience like the rest of us, you experienced a great deal of hardship and challenges too. “I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” – Matthew 5:44. Forgiveness is the most difficult thing to do when you in the midst of anger, but praying for your people including you “enemies” work best. What is the harm in praying for them? You really have nothing to lose but your ego.
You Are What You Attract
Your negative thoughts can bring about conflict and you will attract negative encounters. You might find yourself in drama and petty arguments that have no real substance. You may be approaching life already with your guard up, assuming the worst possible outcome before it began. That kind of behavior is setting you up for failure. Don’t assume the worst, give everyone a clean slate and if you find yourself in a same scenario, ask yourself what you can do to change this cycle. Like Mandy Hale once said “Pick your battles. You don’t have to show up to every argument you’re invited to”. Love yourself enough to know when to walk away, that doesn’t make you weak, it makes you smart.
Let it Fuel You Not Turn Foolish
You must actively redirect your anger and practice more positive thoughts and emotions. I know it’s easier said than done, but with some genuine effort you’ll see a difference in situations over time. Humble yourself and check your ego at the door. Anger is a normal human emotion that is healthy, but it’s how we use it that can either be useful or harmful to us. Use anger to help you accomplish your goals by allowing it to be fuel your dreams, and push you to keep going. Don’t lose everything you worked hard for by allowing anger to ruin it. You deserve the best life possible, and can improve the quality of it by conquering your anger and maximizing your growth potential.
Written by Kaisha Jones
Disclaimer: The EGL Wellness blog does not create a doctor/patient relationship. The information provided is not meant to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All text on this site is informational and for educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health provider with any questions regarding a medical condition. Do not disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this site. Any advice or information provided on the site is provided on an “as-is” basis. No warranties either expressed or implied, are made on the information provided.