Though its only April, 2017 has definitely been an eventful year for our favorite celebrities with hookups, weddings, new bundles of joy and unfortunately, steps towards divorce. In recent news, two of our favorite Pop-stars (Mary J. Blige and Janet Jackson) are currently on the road to a permanent split.

According to the American Psychological Association (also known as the APA), and the Centers for Disease Control (also known as the CDC), 40-50% of newly married couples across the U.S. will end in divorce.

While these statistics appear to be high, the social and economic advantages of our age group and generation as a whole {when compared to our parents and grand-parents}  makes it much easier to separate and less likely to stay committed. In other words, we tend to leave rather than make it work because we can afford to walk away.

Speaking of separation, for every married couple that chooses to part ways and spend some time apart before taking the Big D, there are other couples who go for it full speed without looking back.

Marriage is a beautiful union and for some, the break-up tends to be quite ugly. A good support system and learning the ropes will definitely make the transition a lot easier. If you or someone you know is going through a divorce or thinking about it, Here are a few Do’s and Don’s to keep in mind.

  1. You have the right to seek a divorce if you are unhappy, emotionally or physically neglected or if you simply feel estranged from them. While some couples part ways due to drug/alcohol or physical abuse your emotional health is treated no different in a court of law.
  2. Keep in mind that there is no such thing as a “wrong or right reason” and furthermore, you do not require his or her permission. If you’re seeking a divorce and your other half says no, you can be {legally} released from your marriage
  3. You do not have to wait for the other person “to leave”. Have you ever heard a someone say “I’m waiting for him/her to go”? Contrary to popular belief this is one of the biggest misconceptions when it comes to divorce. You can actually file a “No-Fault Divorce” which basically means that it’s just over and no one is to blame and more importantly “you just want out” of it.
  4. Do your research. Believe it or not, marriage is a contract and so is your divorce.  Depending on your state, there are tons of laws, guidelines and loopholes for both spouses. For instance, some states require that you split everything that you owned before, during and after the marriage in half while other states will only split what you’ve earned during the marriage.

5. If your soon-to-be-ex begins to harass or embarrass you in person or via social media,   do your best to ignore them. If he or she decides to make your split public, contact your attorney and allow them to handle It. it may seem difficult and frustrating that someone is “calling you out” but your best bet is to take the high road by not entertaining them.

6. Talk to your loved ones. People often estimate the power of a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. There is no reason for you to go through this journey alone. Moral support can make the hardest situations seem a lot easier to deal with. Your closest people can offer advice and physical support as you try to dig through and separate the years of your marriage both mentally, physically and emotionally. Besides, if he/she decides to embarrass you on the internet, you will definitely need the support.

6. Take your time. Even though it’s over, there is absolutely no reason to rush. In fact, some states offer counseling and mediation to both sides prior to any court proceedings to make sure that you and your former partner are prepared for your day in court.

7. Be prepared for a lengthy process. No two divorce proceedings are the same. Your days in court will depend on you and your former spouse’s ability to agree or disagree. In other words, if you work together and find a middle ground, it will go a lot easier.

Divorce is a life-changing experience and though it may seem rough and overbearing at times, its really for the best if one or both of you are no longer willing to make it work. So whether you are the one who wants to move on or the one who feels abandoned. Your best bet is to seek support and take this journey one day at a time and hopefully this will be the start of brighter days as you continue to live your life.

Written by: Latoya Hoyte

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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