It has been said that time heals all wounds. However, sitting around as time goes by is not the way to go. Neither is jumping in and drowning yourself into work, and all the things to keep busy and your mind off the hurt. Whether it be from a breakup, death of someone close, to a national tragedy, healing is essential to good health.
Healing takes time, yes, but the actions during the time is what truly fosters the healing process. Here are a few action steps to help you heal as the time goes by…
- Understand and acknowledge that healing is a process, it will take time, and it is ok if your healing does not come fast. It is also ok if complete healing as you may have been conditioned to think of it, doesn’t come at all.
There are just some hits and L’s we take in life that it would be ridiculous to think we’d ever completely heal from, yet we try so hard to. The loss of someone close, like a parent, sibling, spouse, or whoever it may be, can leave a hole in our heart never to be refilled. Instead of the sought after complete healing that time is suppose to magically bring, instead peace would be the appropriate goal destination.
- Talk to someone because healing isn’t a process you should take on alone.
It may be a close friend you trust, your sister circle, that understands you well, lends a good listening ear, is non-judgmental, and supportive, or it may need to be a professional. Sometimes we’re unable to process through our own emotions, to gain clarity and we need someone else to sort through all the luggage as we unpack it. There is no shame in seeking help in your healing process.
- Feel what you feel and write it out. Journaling.
You have to give yourself permission to feel what you feel, to get comfortable with being uncomfortable sitting with your feelings. Don’t try to tuck them away neatly, or run in the opposite direction, face them and with tears pouring down your face, hands choking angers neck, write exactly what you’re feeling. There is no right or wrong to journaling. You may want to date your entries but don’t get stuck on trying to find a formula or make it perfect, just write. Journaling provides freedom, its personal and intimate, gives voice to your hurt, relieves tension and stress as you release what you’re holding in that moment, and that can be therapeutic.
- Do things that make you happy.
With all of the deep emotional work you’re doing, you also need to spend time doing things that feel good. Overtaken with hurt and grief it is easy to become disconnected from one’s hobbies and passions, but being intentional to make time to do things you enjoy will reduce the risk of loss of self, help you decompress, and can be uplifting, giving you a moment to breathe. This could also be a good time to try something new or check something off your bucket list.
- Spend time with people you love and who love you back.
In the face of hurt or grief of some sort, is usually when we put life into perspective the most. This is when we really begin to appreciate and value time, and the people most important to us. Surrounding yourself with love, laughter, and beautifully organic connections is food for the soul. Life isn’t designed to be done alone, our village, tribe, squad, and community, can shine that sliver of light we need in our darkest places.
- Dance, run, hit the gym or workout at home, but get moving.
Research tells us that exercise, has more benefits than just our physical health. There are mental and emotional benefits to exercise as well. It’s said that exercise can reduce stress, decrease depressed feelings, increase confidence and self-esteem. Even if “weight loss” isn’t on your radar, those benefits from adding movement to your daily or weekly routine are worth the try. Also consult your doctor before beginning any new exercise and workouts.
Time alone doesn’t heal all wounds, but time plus the action we take during that time is what moves our healing process forward and leads us to a place of peace.
Written by: Tinita Tennant, @tinita_thewriter , Staff Writer