The reality is, not everyone has the perfect family. In a perfect world, unions would last forever. But we don’t live in a perfect world. Children result from relationships that are no more, however, regardless of the circumstance, they should never have to suffer. When two decide to split and there are children in the middle, they should be made to feel as comfortable and secure as possible. Sometimes the situation works, other times, not so much. Whatever the case, it really doesn’t matter, because the children are the priority.
No one enters a situation where they think they’ll end up parenting unconventionally, but when it happens, several things can occur. You either mutually decide to break or the separation is terrible.
It’s always a plus when the parents can be mature enough to put their egos aside and focus on the children. For at least 18 years, you have to talk to each other regarding them, so putting them before your need to express whatever it is that you feel at the time is the best thing all parties involved can do. Being respectful of the other’s time and personal life will also make things much more comfortable for the children. Two parents who respect each other and commit to amicable behavior and raising the children in the best situation possible is the best thing you could ever do for them.
When you are dealing with someone who is adamant on being difficult, one of the worst traits ever rears its ugly head, which is selfishness. No one, anywhere, has ever benefitted from this trait. Involving it in a co-parenting situation is a recipe for disaster. Putting your ego and the need to fight or demean the other all of the time serves no purpose and the biggest loser here is the child. Not only are they a witness to all the bickering and fighting, they learn to do the same. Along with that comes the need to be secretive and defensive and they can develop one of the most damaging characteristics of all, non-communication. When a child stops communicating because of the fear of discourse between the parents, that opens doors for so many other things to occur. Communication and trust are lost and very, very hard to regain.
Children do what they know how to do. When it’s all said and done and they have families of their own, would you like for them to mimic your behavior and pass that onto their own children? Whether good or bad, it will happen, but the result is in the seeds that you plant in them today. Co-parenting can be done successfully. Just remember to focus on the child, put yourself last and respect the other parent involved.
Written By: Joyanne Lawrence, Staff Writer, Modern Domestic