With or without a father living in the home, it is your purpose as a mom, to mold your son. You are his everything, whether you know how to be or not. As a woman, it is easy for you to relate to girly things but with a boy, you have to learn. Being one sex and raising the other can be challenging. Not only do you have to deal with his many levels of development, but you also have to learn a whole new way of thinking.
Mama Knows Best
Despite the many father figures that may be in your son’s life, he will learn the most from you. His first lessons in love and empathy come from how you care for him. Your interaction with him will dictate his interaction with others. If you are always harsh, so will he be, but if you are careful especially with how you speak to him, he will be that as well. He wiil learn domestication from you, how to care for himself from you. It’s not impossible for his dad to teach him this but more than likely, you will be his biggest influence here.
Immersing Yourself in His Life
While the male species are usually stated as being the strongest, women beg to differ. Boys need a little more attention than girls. While girls will get over your absence, boys will not. Therefore the best way to fix this issue is to prevent it from happening in the first place. Totally engulf yourself in his world even if it means doing something that you don’t like. So you’re not a sports fan but your son plays every sport imaginable. That means you need to become familiar with the sport and like what he plays. It’s important to show your support for something that he is passionate about.
Turn Off to Others and On to Him
Boys tend to be very spontaneous in their thinking and conversation. It is always at inopportune times i.e. in church, while the news is on, or in the middle of conversation with others that he has something that he has to get off his chest. Instead of abruptly dismissing him or being irritated with this, do one of two things. Either ask him to give you a moment OR turn your attention to him. Cutting him off or “shooshing” him will give the impression that you don’t care to hear about what’s on his mind or what he has to say.
Moms raising boys, is one of the hardest things that one may ever have to do. We do know that you can become overwhelmed with the task, but that’s what mothers are built for. Before you know it, he’ll be a fine young man and the fruits of your hard labor will be evident in him.
Written by: Joyanne Lawrence, Staff Writer, Modern Domestic