Have you ever noticed how the firecrackers on Independence Day are just like the blissful beginning stages of a relationship? It’s a whole lot of build-up, some heat, and awe, then right when you anticipate the sky glowing up with eternal bliss, you realize you’re holding onto a dud and need to reclaim your days of independence! Well here are a few tips to help you do just that.
Ditch all the ROM-COM theories that tell you to bawl your eyes out under a down comforter with Netflix and ice cream. Try giving yourself something new to look at and establishing a new self-care routine. You can start with a new lippie or a haircut and that bold color you screenshotted last month. Clear the storage and bring that look to life! Don’t forget your brow and bikini wax to seal the deal. This way if there are any ex-sightings or social stalking you’ll be giving him something to write home about.
Reconnect with the friends and cousins you ghosted every time you were in love. You should probably apologize for periodically annexing them in the pursuit of date nights, regular sex, and happily ever after, but don’t hesitate to slide in their DM’s. Facing a breakup can create a ripple effect or emotional decisions and outbursts that can hit you out of the blue. Don’t grieve alone or with bad company. Seek the support that will be by your side once the smoke clears.
Write your own declaration of independence. Journaling is a cathartic and purposeful way to process emotions, especially when you’re overwhelmed or feel blindsided. Detroit born, LA-based creative, Iman Milner, cleaved to her pen and paper after a bad breakup and ended up writing a thoughtful book of poetry that was named one of Book Authority’s Best Breakup Books of All Time and now sells on Amazon. It’s your heartbreak, but it’s also your story. Own it and make it serve you!
Host a private party for one. Whether it’s your first breakup or your 10th with the same guy (we’ve all been there), discovering who you are as a person can help you be the best partner and is the best investment of your energy if you ever want to move forward and claim the love you are worthy of. Make a commitment to you. Treat yourself how you want to be treated and make daily self-deposits of devotion, respect, and honesty, so that it will be impossible for someone to bankrupt you of the essence and zeal that makes you extraordinary.
Pledge allegiance to your best life. Sadness is really a low-lying fruit when it comes to breakups. It takes nearly zero effort to rehash all the details that make you want to lash out and pass blame, but it takes courage to reach for the lessons and the takeaways. Your best relationship will only uncover flaws that have the potential to add to our character once we’re loved correctly. So don’t be afraid to push past the discomfort and lean into whatever part of your life that challenges you not to settle. Run toward the heat that stirs inside! It’s the flame that reminds you that you’re alive and full of promise.
Written By: Ashley Littles
Follow Ashley on Instagram: @moxiedmama