While dating, the beginning stages are always fun and enjoyable. As women, we make sure we’re always looking our best and feeling our best. But once things get really serious, we tend to forget who we are as women. They say in order to love someone else, we must love ourselves first. Self-esteem and self-love are known to be two prerequisites for building and maintaining healthy relationships, that without either of the two, we are incapable of genuinely loving other people. Wisdom has told us that loving ourselves first allows us to know and only accept what we deserve.
As women, we are extremely analytical when it comes to ourselves. We may say that we truly love ourselves, but then may notice something about ourselves that we don’t like–whether it may be a particular body part or simply a particular situation we’re currently in. The feelings we may have for ourselves can, and most times, do influence our feelings and connections with other people, which can cause more issues down the line. It is true that regardless, we are going to have moments where we “like” ourselves more or less on some days, but on the days where we seem to dislike ourselves, it should not take over the full medium of the love we have for ourselves. As human beings, we change all of the time. Like any intimate relationship, they change, and as relationships change, we change as well. No matter how much we work on ourselves, whether it may be a character trait or something about our appearance, we are not going to always like every single thing. But it is a matter of accepting those flaws and embracing them with everything within us. When you get to a point of accepting all of what you are and what you have to offer, loving yourself will become more natural.
The importance of loving yourself relies on us forgiving ourselves more, being more secure, not tolerating just anything, seeking less attention and approval, and putting yourself first. As women, we are created to experience, learn and grow from different situations and through different people. Upon engaging in a new relationship, there is absolutely no need to be any other way than yourself because there’s obviously something standing out about you, right?! Once you enter in a relationship as you are, that relationship can have the ability to help not only you as a woman grow, but men as well. Relationships fluctuate–that’s just what they do, but love should always be the common denominator that paves the way to allow the both of you to accept each others flaws, while also helping one another build.
The important thing to remember is never to forget who you are or let yourself go. As women we shouldn’t allow ourselves to let other people break us down from who we really are; and until you genuinely love yourself, no one will be able to love you 100%. You have to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are and once you do that, nothing else can really replace it. The love you have for yourself should overpower any other form of love. If you cannot make a connection with yourself, how can you make a genuine connection with someone else? Love yourself, ladies. Maintain that love. Don’t ever lose it! Even if you start a new relationship, remember who YOU are.
Written By: Daion Stanford