As I reflect on what 2016 has been for me this year, one thing comes to my mind: rejection. Rejection can bring about feelings of worthlessness, sadness, and fear, and on the other side, it can make one stronger. Here is my story of how I am coping with rejection.
In the beginning of the year (January), I was placed on furlough (similar to a lay off) from my job. I had finally decided what I wanted to do with my life when I was blessed with my Human Resources position in early 2015. If I was going to stay in corporate America, this was going to be the position I wanted and eventually work my way to a HR manager. When I got the news that I was essentially going to be unemployed, I became upset and frustrated. I was already facing conflict with trying to work for myself versus clocking into a job daily. Realistically, I knew I needed to work, and it seemed as if no jobs were hiring.
After working two temp jobs to no avail, I am unemployed again. Although I am actively seeking employment, it seems as if I can’t catch a break. Either I am not qualified enough or overqualified. The jobs that want to hire me are strictly temporary, or permanent but the pay is poor (slightly above minimum wage). I am now at a crossroads: do I try to make self-employment work for me while living on unemployment benefits? Do I keep hunting down jobs that seem to lead me to a dead end? I am confused, sad and wondering why I can’t seem to keep a job this year.
To make things worse, my relationship is rocky at the moment. It’s an awkward situation when you both love each other, but life seems to get in the way. I have things I am dealing with, as well as he, and it has taken a toll on us. I pray that our love and bond is strong enough to get us through. Going through this rough patch came at the worst time!
I have feelings of defeat, sadness, and not being able to understand why 2016 is such a crazy year for me. I have not been eating much, my birthday came and went, and I refused to celebrate it, and I’ve just been wanting to sleep. I know, it sounds like I am depressed. Fortunately, as frustrated as I am with my job situation, and as much as my heart aches for my love, I do know that life goes on. I have to force myself to still do what I can in regards to a job, whether employed or working for myself. In my relationship, all I can do is pray for him, and for us, and live my life the best way I can, and show him I am there for him.
“God makes us uncomfortable when He wants us to grow,” the people say. The lesson I take from 2016 is that God is trying to get my attention and that I have to grow. I am uncomfortable with my employment, so something greater is destined. I am uncomfortable with my relationship. Either we will work things out and be stronger than before, or God has another man for me. Either way, I’m realizing that God is seeking my attention. I’m also realizing that sitting around being sad will not change anything. I have to keep seeking confidence and get better. If anyone is going through anything similar, I suggest a long talk with God, reading motivational books and rediscovering yourself with the new experiences life throws at you.
Written By: Chanelle Woods