“Down to ride ’til the very end/Just me and my boyfriend.”
Doesn’t that sound so cute? Okay, the concept of being a “ride or die chick” is adorable; we get it, ladies, and we know that men love it. Yet there are some major downsides to this mentality we call, “Ride or Die Syndrome.” Symptoms include: forgetting how much you’re worth, losing your self-esteem, no longer being outspoken/having a voice, being led like a sheep, and being blinded by the fact that you have turned into a complete fool. Instead of continuing to put up with a load of BS, keep reading to find out some of the things we should STOP tolerating.
1.) Being Silenced– The late, great songstress Aaliyah said it best: “Speak your heart/Don’t bite your tongue.” Don’t let him silence you or the way you feel. Oh, and don’t let him disregard your feelings as if they don’t matter.
2.) Picking Up The Tabs When He’s Broke– Stop giving men your last dollar. Stop letting him slide because he “doesn’t have it right now.” If he really needs it then do it once, and let him know that it won’t be a reoccurring action.
3.) Public Disrespect & Humiliation– This could be him flirting with women on social media and in public, talking badly about you to his friends/co-workers, or even joining in negative gossip about you with his family members. It is an embarrassment to you and your relationship. Someones who loves you will not disrespect or humiliate you.
4.) Repeated Excuses– Don’t keep listening to the one hundred million excuses he gives you for his poor actions. He’ll give you the same excuse multiple times if he knows you will listen. It’s time to turn a deaf ear to his excuses.
5.) Putting Him Before You– You have needs, too! While it’s okay to be selfless, there comes a time when you may have to be a little selfish–or he’ll take advantage of you. Doing anything for someone does not mean that you forget about yourself. Don’t lose yourself trying to please him.
6.) Cheating– Being loyal doesn’t mean tolerating cheating. So many women think that being a “down” chick means putting up with being played multiple times. Loving someone unconditionally does not mean letting him sleep around on you and forgiving him time and time again, doing that just means you don’t value yourself…and if you don’t he won’t either.
7.) Putting Your Life On Hold During Jail Time– No woman should have to stop living her life because her man is in jail; especially if he put himself in a situation where he knew the consequences. Supporting him by calling him and visiting him is one thing, but depending on the length of time he has to serve, don’t feel obligated to put your life on pause for him. This could mean going away for school, dating someone else, or whatever it is that you want to do to move forward with your life.
As popular as the “ride or die chick” is, it can be tempting to become one. Men love this type of woman because of her loyalty and willingness to put up with whatever he puts her through. Well in many cases, the “ride or chick” is an embarrassment to women everywhere. The pushover/doormat behavior that comes with this syndrome is one of the many things that makes it ridiculous. Yes ladies, being so loyal before you get that ring should have it’s limits.
Written By: Kahina Ray