[Woman Using megaphone]. Retrieved from https://daphneeviatar.com/2014/10/02/choosing-to-speak-up/

 

Shutterstock. Untitled [photograph], Retrieved April 25, 2018 from: http://www.forharriet.com/2015/10/storytelling-from-soul-black-womens.html
A frequent point of conversation amongst men is about how women talk; when they talk, why they talk, why they talk so much, how they gossip, what they want to talk about, and the list goes on. But for as much we complain, we also can’t stand when women refuse to talk. Without a doubt, a woman’s silence speaks just as loudly as her words. Any man worth his salt knows that a woman’s words have the ability to build us up and motivate us to be better men, even when we don’t wish to be inconvenienced with the truth. But ladies, even with all of your strength and encouragement, there are a few things that you hold in and silently deal with from men, that you shouldn’t.

Disrespectful Approach – Disrespect in all of its forms has to be addressed. Has a man ever approached you in a rude or inappropriate manner; so much that it made you question where he learned that from and if women are responding to these types of advances? How’d you address it? Did you correct him or just lightly brush him off? If you didn’t say anything and/or rewarded him with your number anyway, you’re partially to blame. Men only do what works for them. So, if a crass approach gains them an opportunity with you, you can best believe it has worked with other women and both he and other men that might be observing that moment, will definitely approach you like that in the future. If you speak up and tell us what you will not accept, or even to just ‘pull up your pants‘; I guarantee the next time, he’ll rethink his approach. Whether it’s how he deals with his anger or results to name calling or dismissive behavior; don’t you dare sweep it under the rug, excuse it as not a big deal, or bite your tongue. Your voice can affect the next woman’s experience.

Our Effect  – He needs to know when his actions are not matching his words, when he’s not supportive, or how you’re losing yourself in the relationship. Point out specifics! For a man that cares about you, the relationship, and your feelings, he’ll make adjustments because what he’ll hear is a warning to tighten up or lose you. Stern warnings make men reflect.

Sexual Gratification – According to a Healthy Women’s survey, 62 percent of women are not satisfied with their sex lives. If you don’t speak up, you’re only cheating yourself. What’s the point  of even doing the do if your fantasies, desires, and most importantly your satisfaction are put on the back burner? Sex is as important to a relationship as any other part, so you should not be silent to protect an ego. When women don’t speak up, you fake it or lie; it leaves room for men to say things like, “I’ve never had any complaints”, without giving thought to the number of women that may have been unsatisfied in silence.  Communication in and about the bedroom is uber important. Don’t wait until your breaking up or completely fed up to attack your man on his performance. Trust me, every man wants to be better in the bedroom.

Acknowledgment – When he’s doing something right, don’t be silent about that either! You have to reward your man with acknowledgment. Don’t be high with criticism, but silent with praise and support. We need that.

Ladies, small talks are better than letting it all build up and then wanting to get everything off your chest. Use a combination of your words and your silence; acknowledge red flags when you see them; and give him the opportunity to correct them. If he doesn’t make corrections, don’t make excuses for him. It may be tough, but it’ll make us better men.

Written By: Johnny Brownlee II
Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath

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