[Stepmother with children. Retrieved February 20, 2016] From: http://www.remarriedwithchildren.org/how-sabotaging-stepmoms-hurts-your-children/

Nowadays it isn’t uncommon to meet someone who has children from a past relationship. Prior to meeting the love of your life, you vowed you’d never entertain such, but now that you’re in love, you realize that loving him means loving his kids. You may not have any of your own yet, but you definitely have lots of love to give. Unfortunately, your family and friends aren’t as progressive in their thinking, and now you’re wondering if you should continue playing mommy or stop playing yourself. Either way, here are some things to consider.

[African American stepmother with children. Retrieved February 20, 2016] From: http://madamenoire.com/146562/stepmom-or-stepmonster-marrying-a-man-with-kids/
[African American stepmother with children. Retrieved February 20, 2016] From:
http://madamenoire.com/146562/stepmom-or-stepmonster-marrying-a-man-with-kids/
“How YOU Doin’?”

It was funny when Respuscia from the movie “Norbit” said it, but this is no laughing matter! With several failed attempts of convincing your family it isn’t as bad as it appears, you’ve got to admit you’re beginning to question your own happiness. Sure, you have to take a backseat when holidays, birthdays and PTA meetings are in motion, but you were fully aware of that before you agreed to be his woman. All that considered, “How you doin’?” Are you comfortable with playing second, third, or maybe even fourth (if he has more than two children)? Think about the reality of the situation and whether or not you are truly comfortable with things.

Ready For the Read-Made Family

“You deserve better.”

“You’re playing yourself.”

“Who wants a ready-made family?”

These are some of the comments people make, but you’ve come to the conclusion you’re comfortable, happy and your needs are being met. Well, you should tell the naysayers just that. You’re not here to win the approval of others. You’re an adult who is capable of making her own decisions without the two cents of others.

You’re Not There to Play Mommy

Contrary to what many believe, your role as the girlfriend or step-mom is not to play mommy; you’re there to love. Balance and structure are the walls that protect respect and love. You respect your mate’s position as your man and father, and you embrace the love that is shared in both relationships. You’re simply there to love and support your man and those that extend from him.

Blended families aren’t easy by far, so we commend you if this is your journey. And while we know you appreciate the kudos, we also know that in your simplest form, you’re simply an individual in love with a man that happens to be a father; and in your eyes that just means there’s just more of him to love!

Written By: Tahanee

Follow Tahanee on Instagram: @TotallyTahanee

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