He was once your man and will forever be the father of your kid(s). Now that he’s decided to live his life with his gay lover he’s ready for the kid(s) to meet their new Maddy. It was traumatic for you when you found out your ex was gay, but how will your kid(s) react? Should you just cut off ties and tell them daddy is missing? Here’s what you should remember when keeping your ex’s sexuality from your kid(s).
They Love Him…
…but you hate him. Well maybe not him, just his actions. In all honesty you may still be harboring those feelings of rejection and the painful fact that he left you for a man. But do your feelings towards his decision to be with another man have anything to do with how he is as a father? Are your children in danger by keeping ties with him or are you putting them in danger by severing ties with their father? It’s normal to be angry, but you should always put your children’s feelings first.
You Have a Say So
You definitely have the right to voice your feelings on whether or not you feel that your children are ready to be introduced to the person who may become their new step daddy. You may feel they’re too young to comprehend this kind of love, but their father may disagree, therefore the conversation between you two is a must and needs to be addressed before-hand in a mature and respectful manner.
Whether you accept it or not, the fact remains that the man you chose to have a child or children with is gay. Homosexuality is only as complex as individuals make it. Teaching your children that their father’s open homosexuality has nothing to do with his love for them is vital.
Losing a love to someone of the same sex is a hard pill to swallow for many people, but it’s something that we’re seeing more and more in today’s world. Not to mention, co-parenting is hard enough without the complications of explaining sexuality and new lovers to your children. No matter what happens though, make sure that decisions about the children are made by the both of you, in love, by putting the best interest of the children first.
Written By: Tahanee Roberts