It’s the summer of 2003 and I’m literally fresh out of my freshman year of high school. I’m 14 and I just came to the realization that I would have to go to summer school for a math class that I took. I was bummed out about it, but the feeling soon faded. You see, I left that final day of school knowing I was going home to meet up with a crush that I had for the better part of four years. Her name was Vicki and there was a time where I thought she was just out of my reach.  So how did we even reach this point? Take this stroll down memory lane with me.

I met Vicki in the first grade and I wasn’t smitten with her from the beginning. It really happened when she left the school after fifth grade. She came back the following year to visit and she just looked a hell of a lot different than she did prior. Puberty hit her hard in the best ways possible and I just had to talk to her. This new version of Vicki made me nervous to even approach. I tried to employ the help of my friend Marissa sporadically for like two years and she just wasn’t having it. She would say, “Kahlil, you want her, you go talk to her your damn self!” I know what you’re thinking and yeah, she sure did tell me.

So eighth grade comes around, she visits, we speak and I end up getting her number. I always believed in my conversational skills and I felt like once she saw more of my personality she would get more comfortable with me. We talked (literally, not dated) for about a year. It was nothing heavy, but she knew I was into her.

Going into that summer after ninth grade, we planned to meet by my house after school. We had never chilled alone and in my head I just had to be as cool as ever and act like I had been here before. She came by on time and we really just kicked it in my room and watched TV. We caught up on some things and eventually came a quiet moment. We looked at each other and this girl kisses me, like a pro. In that moment you could really cue the Dawson’s Creek theme song.

Needless to say that made my summer. We kicked it one other time that summer but after that we didn’t see each other till the following summer. At that point we were 15 and our conversations had progressed. She wanted to get into more than friendly things and obviously I was all ears and etc. She was still a virgin at the time and she said she wanted to do everything under the sun. This included me going down on her.

I never even tried to go down on a girl before. I wasn’t a virgin but I damn sure wasn’t a pro either. I had no clue what eating anyone out really entailed in all honesty. I wasn’t watching much porn or anything. I was determined to figure it out though. When the day finally came, we got into it and inevitably my moment came. It was my time to shine! My first time going down, and her first time experiencing it.

So, I make my move and due to my inexperience I end up getting intimidated by the amount of pubic hair that I saw. I know, I know…it’s pretty juvenile. But guess what?! I would’ve been considered a juvenile, so you have to let me off of the hook. I got down there and damn it, I didn’t know my left from my right. I didn’t want to go down blindly and just lick hair for the sake of licking it. So, I decided that I better not make myself look any more stupid than I already did. I whispered in her ear, “I don’t think I can do this today,” and she was cool and we moved on to other things. The opportunity to go down with her never came again though. I can see how many of you would see that as being apropos. You could be right.


Unfortunately, my first attempt was trash. Luckily, a girl I dated in my junior year of high school was the one who got the works of a very inexperienced tongue. I sort of learned my way with her and got a lot more comfortable with doing with. It was probably also apropos that she shaved; way to ease my mind back then. My first time wasn’t the best time, but as you can see, it sure was memorable.

Written By: Kahlil Haywood

Follow Kahlil on Instagram: @damnitpops



  1. I appreciate the honesty. Need more guys to just say I don’t know what I’m doing so I don’t want to ruin this experience for either of us. Well done.

  2. I’m probably the only female in history who does not cum from nor enjoy oral sex. But I can appreciate the honesty and effort. Hope you got bettet at it.


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