Is it wrong to strive for #bestiegoals with your child and is it better for them to be your best friend than to be besties with another reckless teen?
In a faraway land, long, long ago …… kidding ….. your mom being your best friend? Who does that? That was never a thought let alone an option. However, in recent years moms have attained a status that some of us wouldn’t have thought could be achieved with our mothers. Moms are now the cool ‘kids’ and the thought, for some baby girls, of being without their beloved moms can throw them into panic-stricken states. So is this something that you strive towards or do you instead, leave them alone?
- She develops a trust for you. This is not the mother and daughter trust where she knows you’ll be there but a deeper faith where she knows you have her back.
- She listens to you and trusts your judgment. With listening comes application and with a successful application, comes more confidence. That sounds like a win-win situation.
- She’s more likely to come to you BEFORE anyone else. Listening to the voice of reason is always better than experimenting with what immaturity says.
The cons of leaving her to her own devices
- She can misinterpret your lack of involvement as a lack of interest and therefore may seek out negative attention elsewhere.
- She can become disrespectful and not only might she not listen, but she can also become defiant.
- Besties fall out sometimes – and even become replaceable.
Is it wrong to strive for #bestiegoals?
One of the hardest things that parents are faced with is finding balance. You want your kids to have the best, the things they want and the things they need, but you don’t want to spoil them. You oh also want them to trust in you as they would their best friend but also respect you as her mom. In wearing your mom hat, you often will have to say no to what your daughter wants if it’s not in her best interest. In there lies the conflict. Do you risk her hating you for saying no because you’re more focused on being her friend? Or do you bend and admonish yourself especially when you see her headed down a path of destruction?
How do you find a middle ground?
- Don’t force the issue. If being very close to your daughter is not the natural state of affairs, don’t push it. You don’t want to appear to be the desperate, or a smothering mom.
- Continue to guide and mold her from a safe distance. Don’t be hands off but don’t be a hover mother either.
- Don’t put how you want to be viewed by your daughter and her friends, before what you know is the right thing to do. You don’t want to have regret, and you can’t take it back either.
- Usually following your instincts will keep everything in tact. Let your relationship with your daughter develop naturally, and if you end up being besties, you both win.
Written by: Joyanne Lawrence, Staff Writer, Modern Domestic
IG & Twitter: iam_joii
Blog: I Write Stuff (www.facebook.com/mymindincolor)