They say it takes two to tango, but what if he isn’t ready to dance to the next song? A woman has the right to decide what she wants to do when conception occurs but should the father have equal say so? And if he doesn’t agree with the pregnancy, should the father be held responsible for raising a child he wasn’t ready for? EGL recently polled the thoughts and opinions of both men and women regarding this subject. Here are some of the responses.
“No. [The father] shouldn’t be held accountable. If he didn’t want to have a baby and got tricked into having one after he took the proper precautions, then no. Especially if he spoke with the female and explained his reasons for not being ready to be a father,” Shelia, 44, of Houston, TX believes.
Tammy, 25, from Bronx, NY says, “When you sleep with someone, you are both taking the risk of getting pregnant. So when a man takes the responsibility of not wearing protection and a mistake happens, then guess what…he needs to deal with the consequences and the responsibilities that come with it. But ultimately it’s the woman’s decision.”
Demarquise, 29, of Staten Island, NY seems to believe that if his intentions are made plain in the beginning, then there should be no questions about his stance on fatherhood in the future. “I ain’t looking for love so why in the hell would I be looking to have a baby? If I ain’t looking for a girl, what makes you think I’m looking for a baby?”
Troy M., 33, of Washington, DC had a different attitude from Demarquise. “I grew up without a father so I know the feeling first hand of that absence and I wouldn’t want that for my child. There are way too many good women out here raising children alone. Men – especially Black men – need to step up and play their position. You don’t get cool points for abandoning your child.”
“Duh, that’s why they have abortions. Why would any woman want to have a baby by a man who doesn’t support her? I don’t feel sorry for any of these women out here laying it low and spreading it wide. That’s just stupidity and desperation in my opinion,” Miss A., 27 of Fairfax, VA said. When asked how she would feel if she were in that position as a married woman whose husband has abandoned her after learning that she was pregnant she said, “Well that’s a horse of a different color. And that’s when child support comes into play. Being married puts a different perspective on everything because now you’re dealing with morals and values because a child isn’t being born out of wedlock. But if you aren’t married and are having children that says a lot about you.”
The debate about women having a baby without the father’s consent is one that is as old as time. And no matter what the world says, personal preferences and responsibilities are determined and distributed by the two people who came together and conceived. For those of you who are living this reality, what’s your take on the matter?
WRITTEN BY: Tahanee
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