A common question among women is, why don’t the single gentleman who claim to love and worship God ever approach them at their places of worship? Well, men already experience enough pressure when approaching women, but approaching a religious woman brings about great trepidation for us men.
There are numerous reasons that cause men to think twice or decide against talking to a woman at his place of worship. For example, he’ll always be concerned about whether or not it works out. Your place of worship is your place of solace where you always want to experience comfort and we don’t want any drama or awkwardness there. Here’s another reason:
No man wants to be accused of working the church or being labeled the church “player.”
He doesn’t need to do much in order for that accusation to be laid on him, and once it’s out there, true or false, it’s hard to recover from. For example, if a man asks a lady in the church out, whether she accepts or not, it looks suspicious when he asks or dates another. This opens the door for rumors and speculation.
Even if the two of you aren’t members of the same congregation, dating an openly religious person can be hard. A comparison between where you both are on your walk and how strict you adhere to your doctrine naturally ensues. It’s just as hard to date someone who is further along in their spiritual journey as it is to date someone who is a ways behind. He neither wants to rush his spiritual development, nor does he want to hinder someone else’s.
If he struggles with his religious walk, he doesn’t want to be someone’s reason for backsliding.
In addition, there are the sacrifices, expectations and perceived pressures he may not be ready to live up to. There’s often a belief that religious women are boring. Unfairly, they’re expected to be saints and considered hypocrites for not being one. Well, the same goes for men. They assume that if they date an openly religious person, they are expected to be perfect, have it all together, and live line-by-line and word-for-word of their religious doctrine. Bachelors often believe that by dating a religious woman, they’re expected to give up social life, that dates consist of reading religious books, that they’ll need to give up sex cold turkey and they’ll be rushed to get married. We all fall short and have our off days and no one wants to be judged or have their secret sins exposed.
Just because a man attends a place of worship and claims to be of the faith, doesn’t make them a good man or perfect. There are people who don’t mean you any good and aren’t right for your life everywhere. Just remember if approached by a man in a faith, he may still party, smoke, drink, go out or have sexual desires. As in any other relationship, you must be willing to date who he is and who he’s trying to become; not just what you expect or desire him to be. That will take a lot of pressures off of him. Support his journey but don’t pressure, judge or feel the need to show him the light. Allow him to discover the path by the sermon you live; Don’t preach to him.
Written By: Johnny Brownlee II
Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath