In 2013, researchers at Kansas State University found that couples who argued about money early in their relationships, regardless of their income, debt or net worth, were at a greater risk for divorce than others.
According to the study’s lead researcher, “Arguments about money is by far the top predictor of divorce. It’s not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It’s money — for both men and women.”
In the age of independent women who have their own and can do for themselves, one thing that still puzzles women is why men worry about their spending habits, even when it’s their own money.
Here are a few reasons men worry about a woman’s spending habits:
He Cares – It’s not to be nosy or trying to be controlling. He hears your goals (retire early, start a business, travel more, invest) and realizes that you have the money, but it’s allocated wrong. No one likes to see someone waste potential or not respect a dollar. A man who doesn’t care will let you blow through money and say nothing, especially if your spending habits benefit him.
He’s Planning to Stick Around Long-Term – Before you’re financially tied to or dependent on someone, you want to ensure that their priorities are in order and that they are dependable. When you commit to someone, the goal is to build with them; not be destroyed by them. You don’t care what short-term partners do because you’re out of their life before they ruin yours anyway. But with long-term partners, you wish to see them carry out their goals and you want to experience it with them.
Self-Preservation – He worries about how you’ll spend his money. Are you trustworthy, reliable and honest? If he gives you money for a bill will you spend it foolishly? Will you lie and try to hide spending? Can you stick to a budget? Financial infidelity can be just as bad sexual. A shopping habit or wasteful spending is as bad as a drug habit or gambling problem. We don’t just share in the prosperity; if we’re living together or married, our debts, financial burdens and credit histories are also shared. So he may pay attention to whether you’re an impulse shopper, if you splurge and can’t fight the urge, and if you live beyond your means to keep up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians). Men and women often have very different philosophies about money. Men pay attention to how much is spent and women pay attention to how much was saved.
Any man dating you or interested in you should do his due diligence and pay attention to your habits and to your flaws; he should pay attention not to just your body and good looks, but he should check your moral, financial and spiritual history. Your money becomes our money, and more money doesn’t change you, it makes you more of what you are. Independent is great when you’re single. No matter how independent you are, you need to transition to being co-dependent and realize there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
Written By: Johnny Brownlee II
Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath