Many independent and accomplished women often talk about the challenges and struggles of the dating world, and in recent years, men have gotten used to meeting goal oriented ladies who are more focused on career and personal life than starting a family and settling down. Perhaps in adaptation to that, some men are taking the same attitude as women, choosing to be happily single and staying off of the dating market. Today’s eligible bachelors are looking neither for commitment nor to casually date.
As 32-year-old college administrator Annah testifies, “The last three or four men I’ve been interested in were all eligible and had their stuff together, but they didn’t want to date. They’d gladly go out on a date, but did not want relationships. I’m beyond bewildered.”
In solidarity, 29-year-old accountant Crystal adds, “It’s true, you find one that meets the criteria and they’re not looking for a relationship; you can’t win. It’s not like they are even enjoying the stereotypical bachelor lifestyle as expected. They don’t even want to date. What’s up with that?”
Here are a few reasons why some men may be content to go on dates, but not want to build or be in a relationship.
He’s not ready to settle down. Some men have lackadaisical or ambivalent feelings about relationships, but many of them believe that when they’ve found “the one” they will know. If this is the case, he’s neither running from nor chasing a relationship, and doesn’t feel pressured to force anything.
He hasn’t set up a comfortable situation. If a man hasn’t accomplished his goals professionally, in some cases, it’s hard for him to focus on a relationship. His situation may be comfortable for you, but if it’s not for him, and if he’s not comfortable with where he is, then he can’t be who you want him to be.
He’s too busy. Women say they want men to be honest, but sometimes they can’t handle the truth. For some men, the truth is that they are too busy to focus on a relationship. He works too many hours, travels too often, or has educational goals that will take time to accomplish. We often think that if it’s important to us, we’ll make time, but there are only 24 hours in a day.
Not sure you’re his type of woman. If a man knows that his next relationship has to be permanent or at least someone that he would want to be with permanently; then before he commits or begins a relationship, he needs to assure that you’re a forever woman. There are a growing number of men that are saying that divorce is not an option for them. For a standard set that high, he has to be extra thorough with who he entertains.
Men have rediscovered how focusing on yourself and going after your goals is liberating. When you have no drama, no one else to focus on, a clear direction and sense of purpose, it frees up so much of your time and energy. Some women may not like or understand this concept coming from men, but men have respected these same points of view from women since the beginning of time.
Written By: Johnny Brownlee II
Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath