[Couple]. Retrieved January 31, 2016, from http://static.pulse.ng/img/incoming/origs3654607/0829725342-w900-h600/Couple.jpg

If you’ve ever been in a relationship and had the “What are we?” or “Where is this going?” conversations, then you know how stressful commitment discussions can be. When a woman wants more from a relationship, and it seems as if she’s not getting it, it usually leads to confusion, anger and assumptions that the man is immature and/or a player. Here are three legitimate reasons why some men are unprepared to commit.

 [Commitment-phobia]. Retrieved January 31,2016, from https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/image-article_inline_full/public/field_blog_entry_teaser_image/commitment-phobia.jpg?itok=0yC7Bfmx
[Commitment-phobia]. Retrieved January 31,2016, from https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/image-article_inline_full/public/field_blog_entry_teaser_image/commitment-phobia.jpg?itok=0yC7Bfmx
  1. Stability – A man wishes to be stable. He wants to be able to take care of his lady and family, and even if he’s single, he wants to be in a comfortable position so when he does get a mate, he’s prepared. Even if he can’t take care of the household all by himself, he wants to be in a position where he can significantly contribute. Regardless of how much reassurance you may give a man; if he’s financially insecure, he will want to solidify his security before anything else.
  1. To Have Lived – Before a man settles down, he wants to have lived, experienced life and enjoyed being a bachelor. It’s about progression and maturity. This is very important for men that were forced to grow up fast or be the man of the house at an early age; or if he’s spent a lot of time focusing on educational attainment. When you’ve had these types of experiences in life, it’s hard to commit because you spent your prime years being serious.
  1. To be Sure That He’s Sure – A man wants to be certain you’re the right one, and he’ll discover that by your loyalty. And we’re not talking regular loyalty; he’s looking for uncommon loyalty. Uncommon loyalty usually means that you go through something drastic, where your faith in him is tested, but unlike everyone else, you stay with him anyway. It’s stuff like: you stuck with him when he was broke; you supported him while he was chasing his dream; you saw potential where other women saw doubt; or you stayed when others walked. Your man wants to know that you will have his back even when it’s understandable to not; that’s what uncommon loyalty is all about.

Contrary to what many women believe, getting a man ready to commit is not something you can control; it really is on the man, not you. The best thing you can do for yourself in any situation is to pay attention to the signs and when you man shows you who he is, believe him. If you’re ready for a commitment that your man can’t handle right now, it’s time for you to re-evaluate your relationship and start thinking about yourself.

Written By: Johnny Brownlee II

Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath

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