For as long as men have been approaching women, it has been understood that no matter how good he looks, how well dressed or well spoken he is, there’s still a possibility that she will say no. It’s perfectly acceptable and expected that we can’t win them all. But as times have changed, the ways that some women go about turning men down have become rude, confrontational and even dangerous.
Once upon a time, a simple “No,” or “I’m not interested,” was enough, but apparently brothers thought this was an invitation to interview and started asking for reasons as to why. This led some women to intentionally try to become an instant turn off. They would lie just to get dudes to leave them alone. Saying “I’m married,” or “I got a man,” probably worked for a while until dudes stopped caring, and “What’s your man got to do with me,” became the new response. After that failed, women would try saying they were gay, but that only made them a fantasy more than a deterrent.
In the modern era, instead of a simple “No,” it’s come to a swift attitude and attempt to embarrass with some sort of sarcastic diss.
We’ve all seen this unhealthy, negative interaction take place: Guy tries to talk to a woman, she gives attitude, he disrespects back and an argument ensues… It looks bad for both people.
Then there’s the passive-aggressive thing. Every man has experienced this at some point. She takes his number but never calls, she gives him her number but never responds, or she responds but always with excuses or phrases that let you know she’s not really interested, like “Haha”, “Maybe” and “I’ll try.” Another popular one is the “I don’t think the guy I’m talking to would appreciate it,” response.
But the most common response these days, and the one that’s currently aggravating men is the no response response: He asks you a question or sends you an invite and you just completely ignore it or don’t give a straight answer. We’re honestly too old for this game and it’s rude.
Ladies, rejection is hard enough to deal with, which is probably why many of you are afraid to approach or ask a man out. Your approaches to rejection may have an effect on the type of men who approach you and why others don’t. Men talk– I may go as far to say “gossip”– in barbershops, on basketball courts, golf courses, around water coolers, poker tables and at the gym.
If your rapport with men is negative, dudes tend to approach you more aggressively and with lowered expectations. They come prepared for the BS.
Pay attention to how you dish out rejection because whether you lie, bluntly tell the truth, curve (waste time/play games), or politely say no, other men watch and listen. So they either adjust or abort their mission. Some men will respect your lie, others will confront you on it and call BS, and others will lose respect for you immediately. If you feel the need to lie about simple stuff, you never respected him anyway. He will no longer need to deal with you anymore than necessary. It’s very rare that men use a cold approach; he’s probably been watching and studying you and he’s probably told at least one guy about his interest or intention to approach you. Those other guys are going to watch his approach or at a later date ask about how that interaction went. Anytime your name comes up afterward, certain descriptions will be spoken about you.
Once you develop a reputation around how you show your lack of interest, one of these types of personalities will approach you:
1. The “Shoot My Shot” Guy– They don’t care what anyone else’s experience was or what they’ve heard. They will shoot their shot regardless. This can be good or bad, and they are the man-enough-to-approach guys that women often speak of.
2. The IDGAF (I Don’t Give a F***) Guy – These are the dudes who don’t take no for an answer. They totally don’t respect the curve.
3. The Fall Back Guy – These are the dudes who will respect your wishes and leave you alone. The problem is with the ones who will fall back before finding out whether you’re receptive or not.
By all means, ladies dish out rejection however you like, and don’t cater to fragile male egos. Just realize that right man is probably paying attention to how you deal with the wrong man.
Written By: Johnny Brownlee II
Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath