We’ve all heard the term “ride or die” in music, movies and regular conversation to describe the type of partnerships that men want. It’s now one of those overused clichés that come with mixed emotions, concerns and thoughts to the point that we don’t truly know what it means anymore.

We’ve heard criminals and unsavory characters use it as in wanting to go out the way Bonnie and Clyde did. But what do real men mean when they say it nowadays?


Let’s deal with what it’s NOT first. No one really wants or expects you to die. It’s an over-exaggeration in the same vein as “ride to the wheels fall off.” The term “ride or die” is not the desire for you be someone’s fool or stay in an unhappy, unhealthy, undesirable relationship. A mature man is not going to want to hold you hostage. if you want to go then go. What he mean is for you to have his back and not sell him out.

There are two things that men don’t want: they don’t want a woman to be their downfall, and they don’t want a woman to leave them when they most need her.

“Ride or die” is a desire for someone to be with us when we’re on our way to greatness just as much as when we’re winning.

It’s not enough for you to tell him. It’s a show-and-prove thing. Men want uncommon loyalty, which means having his back when it would be understandable not to, or when others wouldn’t.

I won’t lie and say that some parts of it aren’t “what if” based, or that it’s not you giving it one more try than we deserve. (We never believe that we’ve had enough chances until its too late.) But it’s you giving us the benefit of the doubt on the strength that it’ll work out.

“Ride or die” is about knowing we have a real one–someone who has our back and has faith in us even when no one else does. It’s not about foolish or toxic relationships, but it’s about not looking for an exit or quitting at the first sign of trouble. In 2019, “ride or die” is a willingness to communicate, pray together, go to therapy together, work through problems together, build/rebuild together and grow together.


By: Johnny Brownlee II  

Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath



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