Recently we conducted a poll for men to open up about red flags that instantly place women in the “not wifing her” category. While we were doing that survey, we took the liberty to ask men the inverse of that question to find out what were things that made men want to settle down.
Before a man will even consider settling down he has to be comfortable and secure in his position in life. He will then evaluate you to make sure that you are the type of woman he wishes to settle down with. If these conditions are not met and he hasn’t made these decisions for himself, nothing will make him ready to seriously date or be marriage-minded. Here are a few characteristics that men want.
Be His Peace – By far this was the number one response. If there is one thing men can’t stand and do their best to avoid, is drama. Men thoroughly appreciate and recognize a woman who brings solace to their world. There’s an old saying that no man wants to battle the world all day, then come home to round two with his lady.
As Curtis put it, “How they handle stress under pressure, and by stress, I mean how they perform when faced with unforeseen circumstances. I need you to stay strong and not panic because that will stress a man out also.”
Maturity – In order to make a man consider settling down, ladies you need to be age appropriate. Essentially, it’s a fancy way of saying your sh*t needs to be together. We look for and appreciate women who have similar goals, and ambitions.
As Ramon put it, “I can’t be thinking about savings, retirement accounts, and dividends, while she’s thinking about blowing money fast. It won’t work if I’m a dinner party type of person, she can’t still be a club person.”
Respect – We want a woman that we’re proud to show off, take or mention any and everywhere we go. We want someone that we can take around our friends, coworkers, church and of course our family and not be worried about if they’ll embarrass us; someone that will respect themselves and us.
Communication and Understanding – These are two of the most important qualities of any successful relationship. Some of the hardest things to find are a partner who knows how to speak to you and how not; someone who understands what you’re saying and what you’re not saying; and someone who knows how to handle us. We value women who understand that a conversation requires talking and listening. There are going to be times when it’s okay for you to push the issue and times when you should back off and let it go. There are times when your presence is desperately needed and times when he needs his space. There are times when it’s okay to be quiet, but there are also times he doesn’t want to beg you to speak or be a mind reader, and you need to speak up. Knowing how to walk that fine line of situational awareness is how men know which women get us.
It’s not rocket science. Men want essentially want the same things women want and we’re triggered by the same things. It’s expressing and showing those things where both sexes have a problem. I find it funny that whenever men or women list the problems they have with the opposite sex, everyone opens up like a book; but when we ask for solutions or compliments, we still get problems. If we can focus on the solutions and looking for positives in each other, and think about what we want as much or more as we know and focus on what we don’t want; our relationship may have a more positive outlook.
Written By: Johnny Brownlee II
Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath