We live in a time where we openly brag about being picky and petty, but could our pettiness be getting in the way when it comes to dating? We disguise those excuses by passing the blame– claiming that we’re just picky or have high standards and preferences.
Well I asked both ladies and gentlemen between the ages of 22-40 to share some of the pettiest reasons they wouldn’t date someone. They tend to break down into the following categories: appearance, lifestyle and their own selfishness or insecurity. I also added a couple of reasons women have said they wouldn’t date me.
Height/Weight – The most common reason mentioned by women was height. High on the scale (no pun intended) from men was weight. However, a funny thing happened while talking to a 27 year old man. A 30 year old woman overheard him mention weight as a factor. She immediately degraded him for body shaming, but choked on her words almost immediately when she had to admit she wouldn’t date a man if he wasn’t a certain height.
Hair – 34 year old male dental hygienist stated, ”I won’t date a woman that’s hairy, especially if she has visible hair on her chin or upper lip.” Meanwhile, a 34 year old female paralegal stated, “I won’t date a man if he doesn’t have a beard.“
Complexion– Probably one of the saddest reasons based on the history of people of color is that we are still excluding people for being too dark or too light-skinned.
Physical Features – A 28 year old female teacher informed me she can’t date a man with small hands. A 38 year old male mechanic said, “I wouldn’t date a woman with big or ugly feet, like the ones that a pedicure cant help or if her toes are long and awkward shaped.” Someone also mentioned they wouldn’t date anybody with a lazy eye.
Travel– Charise, a 35 year old insurance agent, said she wouldn’t date a man if he didn’t have a passport.
Phone– Rochelle, a 36 year old educational administrator, said she wouldn’t date a man who “Didn’t have a smartphone– an iPhone to be exact– and it needs to be an up to date one.“
Diet/Exercise– A 35 year old female chef said she “Wouldn’t date a man that wasn’t a vegan and into yoga.”
Hair– A 35 year old male banker state that he wouldn’t date a woman that had colored contacts or wore weaves. He was only interested in natural, conscious women.
Job– A 31 year old female nurse said, “I wouldn’t date a man with a blue collar job.” It’s as uppity as it sounds.
Clothes– Lisa, a 33 year old entrepreneur, said she wouldn’t date a man if his name brands didn’t match. For example, “if you’re working out in a Jordan sweat suit, you can’t have Reebok sneakers on,” she said. “You’re automatically disloyal.” As this conversation was going on, a 29 year old male flight attendant completely agreed, saying he also wouldn’t date a woman who mixed up her name brands. Priorities, I guess.
Zodiac Signs – More than a few people, both men and women mentioned particular zodiac signs they absolutely would not date.
Grammar – Taylor, a 31 year old dance instructor, stated she wouldn’t date a man who “Can’t text properly. I hate grammatical errors, and you have to use proper text language and abbreviations. Otherwise, I believe you don’t know how to communicate.”
Dating History – A particular young lady said she pays attention to the women of his past because she doesn’t want to be associated with someone who associates with “bum b*tches.” WOW!
Several women mentioned that they wouldn’t date a man who didn’t have a car.
A 33 year old female middle school teacher stated she wouldn’t date anyone with gold teeth.
A young lady once told me she wouldn’t date me because I knew about too many things and she could never win an argument with me. I never thought being educated and well researched would be a negative.
Another young lady once told me she wouldn’t date me because she liked wearing 6-inch heels, and whenever she was in her heels she was an inch or two taller than me. She said her man had to be taller than her in her heels because she wore them frequently. (Never mind the fact that she’s much shorter than me when not in her false height.)
One of the more sad answers was someone saying they wouldn’t date someone who was handicapped. It seems heartless, but you have to respect the honesty, right?
A 37 year old architect said he wouldn’t date a woman who stuttered.
Gina, a 32 year old pharmacist, stated she couldn’t date a man if he was more attractive than her. Her friend, a 35 year old medical equipment salesperson, said she wouldn’t date a man based on how he was shaped; for example, if he had bigger hips or a bigger butt than her.
Every single person who answered is single. Hmm…I wonder why. When people have petty reasons to not date or even talk to someone, it further complicates an already harsh and cruel dating market. I challenge us all to do a better job of getting to know based on the content of character. Let’s be less petty and more understanding that no perfect person exists.
Written By: Johnny Brownlee II
Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath