The older I get, the more I’m amazed at how older people and younger people have the same dating issues and questions. Recently I participated in an event with mostly 18-22 year-old college students, and then a networking event with mostly 25-39 year old professionals. Many people in both groups had asked an age-old question, an oldie but a goodie, one of those things that makes you go hmmm... Which do men prefer more: the chase or the catch?
To be honest, most men these days don’t enjoy the chase. It’s stressful, it comes with competition and it’s the part where we have the greatest chance of having our time wasted. From women cutting us off and denying us before we can get out a “hello,” to lying about being involved, to using us for free food, the pursuit is littered with snares and pitfalls. Unfortunately, the chase is a necessary evil. We know that anything worth having requires work and is a challenge. The problem is that men have become lazy. Too many of us try to skip right past the pursuit and get to the catch.
But ladies, you aren’t without fault here. You can’t be upset when men no longer want to pursue you or they easily give up– especially when we went through the bugaboo stage and are currently going through the so-called thirsty stage. Trying to figure out the balance between being persistent and being pesky is like a full-time job. Persistence used to mean that you really cared and were loyal. Now people think it’s desperation. Most guys won’t ask a second time, yet somehow they’ll be criticized for giving up too early.
So does that mean the answer is the catch? NO! The catch is cool but it’s about what he does with you once he catches you that determines whether he’s going to waste your time or not. Men can catch and have no intention to keep. It’s called catch-and-release. That’s right, just like a fisherman who catches a fish, brags about it and throws it back in the water. WTH?! That fisherman is known as a f*ckboy in relationships, so the catch can be meaningless, also.
The answer to the question is in the keep, and it’s a two-fold answer. It depends on what stage of his life he’s in and his maturity.
The keep asks and answers the question, now that you have it, what are you going to do with it? It shows how much we really wanted it form the beginning because you have to work just as hard to keep something of value as you did to obtain it. When you secure your intended prize, distractions, ego and other opportunities show up to attempt to separate you from your catch. The keep is not for the lazy or uncommitted.
You see ladies, the chase just shows interest, the catch shows effort, but the keep reveals true intent. Look for men who not only like or want to possess you, but want to keep you.
Written By: Johnny Brownlee II
Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath