You both started off as buddies. He was just a ‘bro’ and while around him you felt like on of the guys. Everything was super cordial and very platonic, but then one day the two of you crossed a line and now there is no turning back. What do you do?
There is nothing wrong with causal sex. You both are two consenting adults with active sex drives, so it’s natural for two friends to entertain the idea of being sexual partners. This describes a typical friends with benefits (FWB) situation. Some people feel they’re not cut out for a relationship, or that it’s just something they’re not looking for. So they come to the conclusion that FWB is the next best thing. But what those people aren’t considering is, it is in fact a relationship.
Just like any other relationship, when dealing with FWB, perimeters need to be set and boundaries will be tested. Also, if you find yourself either no longer having fun, or feeling used and abused, it would be in your best interest to address how you feel.
In any other relationship, whether it be with a friend, parent, classmate or co-worker, you wouldn’t hesitate to express how you felt if something was bothering you. So why ignore those feelings just because this person isn’t your boyfriend? The sex cannot be so great that you’re willing to neglect your emotions and sense of comfortability.
Sometimes you might find yourself in a position where you’re being made to feel ashamed for falling for the person you lay with, or that your feelings don’t matter. On top of all of that, they’re still not trying to commit to anything more than just sex. What you have to do is be honest with yourself and admit you are being used and, quite frankly, abused.
Once you get to the point of wondering where your “friend” went or it’s hard to count those so called “benefits,” ask yourself: Is this all really worth it?
By: Brent Thomas Whiteside