For those navigating the dating world, it can be stressful trying to figure out what to buy a person of interest; especially after seeing the extravagant surprises, engagements, and gifts your friends will inevitably post on social media. If you don’t want the disappointment of giving a gift that may be inappropriate for your dating level, here are some gifts you should NOT consider giving.

Trips – If you’re in relationship limbo, taking a trip together is moving a bit fast. There is no need to try to impress anyone. If you want to do something with the person you’re dating try a staycation in a hotel together.

Jewelry –Whether it’s a ring, bracelet, watch or earrings, jewelry brings outside pressure. Jewelry usually symbolizes that someone is extremely serious about another person. The only exception to this rule is craft jewelry, which is an excellent gift for a person who is into it.

Pets – It seems like the ultimate “awwww” gift. But in reality, it’s something that should be planned and well thought-out. Having a pet is like having a child; you need to have ample time, space and money to take care of this additional life and its needs. Before becoming co-pet-parents, make sure the relationship is lasting.

Matching Gifts – Matching anything implies a deep connection, and that at some point you’ll be seen together matching. In order for the matching thing to work, the other person has to be into it. Otherwise, it’s just awkward.

Something for You – If the gift benefits you more than the other person, then it’s not really a gift. Getting all dolled up and purchasing lingerie sets is cool if it’s in addition to something else. Otherwise, it amounts to a spa day for you as his gift, and that’s a little conceited on your part. Gifts like this show men that expressions of love are one-way transactions, and that sex is all he should look forward to because it’s the ultimate prize. It’s also not the time to buy something you’ve been suggesting he get.

Anything Insulting – Money and favors are always appreciated– especially doing something for someone that they can’t do for themselves when it comes from the heart. But if it makes the person feel as if they are a charity case, it’s not worth it. This is the end of cuffing season and final decisions about relationships of convenience will happen. If you desire to exchange gifts, keep it simple. Set limits that don’t tax your budgets– say, under $50 or $100.

Gift cards, gift baskets or something made with your hands is always nice.

  • Accessories for a suit offer endless possibilities.
  • Beauty products for men are good gifts, especially products for skin/beard care.
  • Cigars if he’s a smoker, or liquor gift sets are always easy to find.
  • Accessories for drinking or smoking work well also.

If you don’t want to exchange gifts, go on an extra date and get to know each more. Don’t mess up your finances or emotional state by giving someone an engagement level gift, when the two of you are just “talking” at best. Don’t ask for anything you wouldn’t accept or buy for the other person. Don’t do, give or accept anything you’re uncomfortable with. Most importantly, give from the heart– not because you expect to receive.


Written By: Johnny Brownlee II

Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath



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