Other than communication, quality time is probably one of the top necessities of a successful relationship. But in a world where the number of promising dating options are limited, it may be necessary for women to take a quality-over-quantity approach to choosing someone. You may want to ask yourself, “Could I date a busy man?”

Now when I speak of a busy man, I’m not talking about a man who wants to hang out or just not make time for you. I’m talking hardworking, enterprising, ambitious men. What you may discover is that men who are truly busy chasing goals may want to spend time with you but they can’t because the schedule is so packed. I can already hear women rebutting: “People make time for what’s important to them.” That’s absolutely true, but when dealing with a busy man, he can’t make time the way you may be accustomed to it because his time may not fit nicely into normal business hours or work weekdays. People who are busy, often have trouble dating because they can’t find someone understanding of their passion, sacrifices and schedule.

Have you ever heard the saying time is money? Well for some busy men, that saying is all too real. When he has money, he doesn’t have time, and when he has time, he doesn’t have money. This type of man is always at work or looking for work because if you don’t have work, finding work becomes your job. It’s constant hustle and the grind doesn’t stop.

If you ever date an entertainer, speaker, comedian, or musician, you’ll have to adjust, because to be successful, they have to learn the grind.

Another characteristic of busy men is travel. They live out of a suitcase in order to provide for themselves and others. They are difficult to date because they live get-up-and-go lifestyles. It’s hard to make plans with guys who live out of a suitcase because oftentimes they live contract-to-contract or on call. His work may be seasonal and during that season nothing comes before the job, because once out of season they may have to live on a tight budget until checks begin to come back in. If you date this kind of man, you have the option of traveling with them but here’s the catch: It’s a business trip and not a vacation. His routine may be very different. He may be on a schedule, not have time to relax or sightsee, and he may be in to do the job and right back out.

The last characteristic of a busy man is having to make extreme personal sacrifices to get what they want and where they want to be. Entrepreneurs may work 50-60+ hours a week, so they don’t have to work for someone else ever again. People with multiple jobs may essentially live at work or never really have convenient days or times off, and when they do they’re tired. However, we all should know how important multiple streams of income are. Busy people that are students are often juggling a combination of school and work and spend what would be free time or time off studying.

To date a busy man, you may have to get accustomed to staying in more so than going out. Dating a busy man is challenging. You may have to get a new interest in order to be able to relate and be able to converse about what they’re passionate about. What’s considered a date may change; a date might consist of just being around them or helping them research study or research a grant or something. Spending time may be working out together. Your love language may have to change, both how you give it and accept it. A busy man may not have a lot of time, but time spent/sacrificed is well worth it and it’s never a waste. You may have to learn to value words of affirmation, gifts and acts of service a lot more than usual.

Remember when dating a busy man, his efforts will manifest differently; A call away on the road, taking a break same time every night to talk to you before you go to bed, or text throughout the day are ways of connecting. It takes a phenomenal understanding woman, or a woman just as busy, to appreciate a busy man; Otherwise you run the risk of complaining that his life is competing with yours. So if he’s always busy, you get busy. Get motivated and chase your dreams, too, or support him in chasing his. Believe me, it will pay off in the end.

Written By: Johnny Brownlee II  

Follow Johnny on Instagram : @slin_k_polymath


  1. ‘It’s constant hustle and the grind doesn’t stop’

    ‘Believe me, it will pay off in the end’.

    If the hustle and grind doesn’t stop, there’s no paying off at the end. Only constant alone time and frustration.

    Move on to a man that knows what balance means.

  2. As a divorced woman who is mom to a 6 year old and owner of a successful business that was created totally from scratch on my own, and STILL makes time for dating and a relationship, I just LOL every time I meet a “very busy man”.

    If I can make it, surely a grown-up man can too. Who cannot make it are:

    – Boys who have their identities wrapped around being busy because they don’t want to look at who they really are.
    – Boys who have no idea that you can have a successful life/business and time to everything you want: they are stuck in an old paradigm of fear
    – Idiots who are narcisisists and just want an ego boost or the occasional shag when it suits them.

    Women do not need tips to date a “busy man”. A busy man is the one who needs to get their shit together and step up to the level of a an open and available woman.

    Women do not need to “occupy their lives” so they don’t miss him. They have already their lives going on, they just want to share it with an available partner UNAPOLOGETICALLY!

    What women need is to step up their standards and stop feeding bullshit of “busyness” that in reality is a disguise for internal issues and emotional unavailability.

    If a man tells you he’s busy, believe him and run for the hills. Fast. And save space in your life for the amazing open and available man that knows what life balance and a healthy relationship is.

  3. Thank you for this article. Many people make me feel like there is something not right about my guy being so busy. Like he may just consider me a booty call, but I know this is not the case.


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