Ask a woman, “Why are you single?” and see how long before you hear, “I intimidate men” or “Men don’t want to deal with strong women like me. I need a man that can handle me.” No you don’t. You’re a grown woman; not a zoo or circus animal. You don’t need handlers. What you really mean is you need a man who can deal with your attitude, selfishness, stubborn ways, your quirkiness, weirdness, etc. But if you truly feel you need to be checked or kept in line, that’s an aggressive relationship, which suggests a much deeper issue.
Maybe you don’t want a gentle, spineless or gutless man. But there is only one place where excessive aggression is socially acceptable, and even then you need a safe word in place to make sure things don’t get out of hand.
Most of the men women consider weak are really just patient, and maybe too patient for your liking. We’ve all heard the phrase, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. The male equivalent to that is, “Beware the wrath of a patient man.” Just because he’s selective in his displays of aggression doesn’t make him weak. What makes him weak is if he fears you, never speaks up or is a pushover.
However, it still doesn’t explain why men avoid so-called intimidating women. It’s mostly about attitude. No one wants to be around a person who is intentionally abrasive, confrontational or crass. Regardless of how much your mouth lacks a filter or how controversial you are, you still have to be tolerable.
People who don’t want drama will not argue or try to change you; They’ll just move on.
Like it or not if you’re a person with a lot of attitude, a patient person is exactly what you need; Otherwise you’ll spend your whole relationship butting heads. A patient man is going to say what he means and mean what he says. He’s not going to do a lot of arguing back and forth that will extend the confrontation.
Let’s be clear, no one is saying women should be weak, “seen and not heard” or anything like that. It’s okay to be assertive. But if you need confrontation in order to have a decent relationship, you’re more than a handful– You’re dramatic. If you’re too much to handle for every man you meet, maybe you are the problem.
Written By: Johnny Brownlee II
Follow Johnny on Instagram: @slin_k_polymath