We often hear talk about the five love languages for strengthening romantic relationships. How does this work? Well, the idea of how knowing your partner’s love language as well as your own helps to strengthen the relationship is very simple: if you know the way your partner receives and shows love then you’ll better understand how to show love to your partner and how to receive it from them. Knowing our own love language helps us to communicate with our partner how we need to be loved, and will help them understand how to love us. By taking the time to learn our partner’s love language, we can build long-lasting, strong bonds. If we can work hard to strengthen our relationships with our significant other, shouldn’t we put the same effort into strengthening the relationship with our tribe?

Untitled image of 5 love languages poster. Retrieved June 7th, 2017, from:

Over time, life can get in the way and loosen those connections with friends that were once strong. We saw this in the movie “Girls’ Trip”; the Flossy Posse hadn’t hung out in years and when they finally got together there was some tension and cat fights. These kind of situations happen in real life because we don’t learn how to love our friends. Indeed, we could use the five love languages to strengthen our friendships as well! The five love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and gifts.  Here’s a few simple ways to get started on the road to strengthening your tribe’s bond:

Learn Each Friend’s Love Language: Simply ask your friend what their love language is. If they’re unsure, have them click here to take a test to find out!

Pay Attention to How Your Friend Shows Love: Most times, the way a person shows love is how they’d like to receive it. For example, if your love language is through words of affirmation, you probably show love by expressing it verbally. Telling someone how much you love them comes natural for you. Being aware of how your friends show love will give you ideas on how to demonstrate your love in their language so they’ll receive it.

Be open with your friends about your love language: Letting the people you care about know how you need to be loved is important. That way they’ll know how to love you better also, and you won’t feel like the only friend making an effort to strengthen the relationship. This will also open the door for transparency and vulnerability within your tribe; both are important to sustain healthy friendships because they help lead to understanding.

The goal of using the five love languages for friendships is to help each person become a better friend! If physical touch is one of your friend’s love language, make sure you hug him/her when you can. Maybe one of your friend’s language is quality time. Make sure to plan to spend time with them, even if it’s not for a long time. Use what you already know about your friends to find more creative ways to love them in their language. If you and your tribe take the time out to learn how to love each other best, it will take an eternity to break your relationships!

Written By: Kahina Ray

Follow Kahina on Instagram: @_k.ray


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