Who doesn’t like making new friends? There are so many things you two can embark on together. Girls’ trips, shopping sprees and a night out on the town are just a few of things girlfriends do. But how do you determine who qualifies to be in your circle, which red flags do you look out for and how can you prevent being easily swayed into allowing the wrong person into your life and home? Some of the best advice I’ve received came from my wonderful mother, Latifah Sayyid. In this interview, she shares her insight with EGL readers to save you from making the same mistakes she did!
EGL: Are there really rules to selecting female friends?
Lois Sayyid: Yes there are. There are definitely rules like with anything in life. This is something a lot of people miss in the beginning.
EGL: Why is it important to have rules?
LS: Everyone should have boundaries set in their lives. It’s important to guard yourself so that you won’t be affected by someone else’s character defects.
EGL: It’s obvious you’re speaking from experience. Can you tell us about the circumstances surrounding your own ordeal?
LS: There’s no particular circumstance that I can reflect on at the moment. But what I will say is that in my younger days I was what one would call a friend to the end. And I learned rather quickly that people have their own definition when it comes to the word, “friend.”
EGL: How do you know you were a great friend?
LS: Because everything I did was from the heart. Nothing I did could ever be labeled negative, catty, out of spite or out of jealousy!
EGL: Did you ever express your displeasure for their behavior?
LS: Yes. I do that all that time. I wouldn’t be true to myself or them as a friend.
EGL: How do you go about choosing the people you want in your life?
LS: I don’t choose people to be in my life. If you’re in my life, you’re in my life. But as you get older, you can out grow people. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them or that you don’t deal with them; it just means God had different plans for your life and maybe those plans didn’t include them.
EGL: So to avoid having to learn the hard way when it comes to choosing friends, what signs should an individual look out for?
LS: If you find yourself doing more than you know you should be doing than take heed to that. And never put yourself in a position where you feel uncomfortable.
EGL: So you do believe in surrounding yourself with positive people and people you can identify with?
LS: I feel it is very important, as matter of fact, critical to deal with people who are on the same frequency as you! If not, there will be an imbalance. I can’t be on FM and you’re on AM. It just creates static!