Usually when you hear the term ‘Keeping Up With The Joneses’ it is meant in a derogatory way. It means that you are doing things to keep up images and competing with false realities. In other words, you do what you see other people, or couples do. Your neighbors down the street get a new car, you get a new car. Your friends get a big flat screen television, now you are clamoring to upgrade.
Now that you’re married, possibly with children, what’s next? It’s time to establish a life to share with each other. Does that mean competing with other married couples? It does, however that competition can be unhealthy. A little friendly competition is ok, but let’s look at becoming The Joneses instead of Keeping Up With The Joneses.
What are we doing differently than other couples our age?
Look at where you are in work, furthering your education, or starting your business. Avoiding comparison is hard to do. Realize that every couple, and every person for that matter, is in a different space. Your friends may have just gone on a dream vacation to Fiji, had a baby and bought a new car. Focus instead on what you do have, and work towards the rest.
Love on Top of Love
Don’t forget why you married your spouse. Make sure you are both working on your marriage through date nights, vacations and doing the little things daily that you need from each other. If your focus is on trying to outdo other couples, you will easily lose sight of what you have between the two of you.
You know what your long range goals are and by now, you should know your husband’s long range goals. Work together to help each other accomplish them. Act as each other’s accountability partner to ensure a better chance of success through love and support.
Stay on the Same Page
When big ish hits the fan, you two need to be connected. Having open communication to voice your concerns, while having the heart to listen to bae’s concerns is key. When facing major issues, you two need to have more of an ‘Us’ mentality, versus a ‘You’ mentality.
Becoming The Joneses allows you to simply grow as a couple. You will work better and stronger together. Yes, winning at a little friendly competition is gratifying, but it is no foundation for a relationship. Your goal shouldn’t be to be like anyone else, but to be the best version of yourselves!
Written by: Carla DuPont Huger
Follow Carla on Instagram: @writewithcarla