All too often, we forget how important it is to forgive; especially when it comes to family. We’ll forgive our phony friends and even our ex-partners quicker than we will a family member. The insults and betrayal hurt more when it comes from a relative, which is why it takes longer to forgive. And not only will this animosity hurt you, but it will also hurt your family.
In some cases, you’ll find children being kept away from certain family members. This is can result in keeping an entire side of a family away and the effects that the feud can have on any family are damaging. It creates a dysfunctional family situation that can be passed on to the next generation. This is the worst part of a holding a grudge against your family.
If you can’t let go for your own sake, let go for your children.
Holding a grudge can also affect your siblings. They may not want to invite you to their special event because the relative that you’re not on good terms with will be there. You put your siblings in a predicament where they have to choose between you and that family member, even though they’re not the one with the problem. Who wants to pick sides between two people they love? Again, if you can’t drop your pride and forgive for yourself, at least do it for your siblings, or for the fact that you’re tearing your family apart.
In the midst of anger and pride, you will become hateful and bitter– which is why it’s important for you not to hold a grudge. Just let it all go.
You may think that by not speaking to them that it’s hurting them, but it’s actually hurting you.
Grudges aren’t good for anything but weighing you down; you turn the corner when to see that person you “hate,” you act mean to them for no reason…this takes a lot of negative energy for you to do. After a while, those feelings of hate aren’t even there anymore, and it becomes a front that you now have to keep up because you’ve been acting in this shady way for so long. Well, you DON’T have to keep up this facade. Just apologize (whether you were wrong or right). Remove those shackles from your heart and get on with your life. You’ll be so much happier and so will your family.
Written By: Kahina Ray
Follow Kahina on Instagram: @_k.ray