Frenchie was supportive, loving and the type of woman any man would want to take home to his mother. In fact, that’s exactly what happened when this beauty met her Prince Charming…or so she thought. Mr. Right was slowly turning out to be all sorts of Mr. Wrong, but refusing to be a sellout, Frenchie held on to her “ride or die chick” title until her turbulent relationship swirled out of control. Here’s Frenchie’s cautionary tale about staying on an emotional roller coaster ride way too long.
In the beginning….
“Bug wasn’t that cute to begin with and I’m not just saying it because were broken up, but I didn’t approach him for his looks. It was actually a dare that my cousin and I made. Back then we did stupid shit like that,” Frenchie explained. What started off as a dare blossomed into something more. Bug seemed to be the type of guy any girl could ask for, especially for Frenchie, after having been single for two years. Movie and pizza dates were the types they had and it didn’t bother Frenchie because she wasn’t into the whole wining and dining thing. “He was working two jobs at the time so I was more than understanding towards his financial situation. Plus he had just moved back home with his parents to help them out with bills and all,” Frenchie said.
Let the red flags begin…
“It never ever failed. It seemed like every holiday that came he’d always have an excuse as to why I couldn’t get my gift on that day. I’d have to wait like a week or two later. And when I did get my gift it was always the same thing. A rose, card and teddy bear. Something you’d get from a gas station or 711.” After not receiving a Happy Birthday text or call she decided to show up at his job one day; that’s when she was hit with the devastating news. “A whole year into the relationship and I had no idea who I was really dealing with!” Bug had a two-year old son that he and his baby’s mother had joint custody over, but that wasn’t all. He also had a girlfriend he had been with for three years. “I was a year into the relationship and this man was a father and somebody else’s man. And that’s when red flags started to fly and everything started to make sense. The cheap dates, movies and lack of money started to add up. [Instead of] helping his parents, he had actually gotten kicked out by his girlfriend and had to move back home. And as far as him having two jobs? Well, that was because he was on child support.”
Still riding…and dying…
But even after finding out about his child and jealous girlfriend Frenchie stayed. “There were text from his son’s mother and non-stop calls from his disgruntled ex-girlfriend who’d tell me about how they had just engaged in wild sex the night before, or how he still loves her and is just using me etc. etc. but I didn’t believe her.” Bug told Frenchie that his ex was jealous he had moved on and found someone else. “I wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to be like his exes; those two in particular. He always reminded me of how strong I was and how they weren’t capable or tough enough to handle a man like him. They were weak, folded under pressure. But me? I was his ride or die chick!”
Enough Is Enough
And even with all that Frenchie had put up with, it still seemed that her efforts weren’t quite good enough. In spite of being everything to her man, she never quite got to the point where she truly felt valued. Her patience had worn thin. “The frustration of being told I couldn’t get my Christmas gift until New Year’s Day was painful enough, but when I went through his duffle bag and found out he had a Christmas gift for not only his son, but also his son’s mother, my emotions went through the roof. All I can remember is pushing him into the Christmas tree and him falling backwards with his feet in the air.”
Despite the years of pain, anguish and uncertainty that Frenchie endured with Bug, that particular holiday season, she got the best gifts she could have asked for: her sanity and her self-respect. And while we’re sure that this blog post took you on a bit of a ride (pun intended), the take away is simple: love yourself first ladies, and don’t be afraid to hop off of the ride the first time it takes a wrong turn.
WRITTEN BY: Tahanee
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