I’m Your friend has just gone through a horrible breakup, which left her in a bad space. All you want to do is fix it and you have a few ideas you think might work based on solutions you’ve heard before. However, what you may see as the answer to her hurt might actually affect her the opposite way. There are certain actions you probably shouldn’t solely depend on when trying to help your friend recover from a bad breakup.
Your first thought is probably to introduce your friend to a new man immediately. Someone attractive who can occupy her time sounds like a good distraction and maybe even the start of a potentially good relationship. While you may think the next man will do the trick, she’ll probably be busy comparing the two the entire time they’re together. The truth is, your friend has to deal with getting over the connection she has built with her ex, which certainly took time.
Social settings might also sound like a good idea. Any action to keep her mind off of what she’s going through probably feels like the proper thing to get into. The only issue with this is, a night on the town or a little dancing in the club is only good for the moment. At the end of the night, your friend still has to return home to her reality. What she needs is something that will help her internally and unfortunately, that takes time.
Another mistake you don’t want to make when trying to help your friend move on is, you don’t want to mention her ex too much. Even if you’re constantly trying to remind her how much of a bad person he is, with intentions to make her feel better, she doesn’t ever need to be reminded of him. If you can avoid mentioning him at all, that’s even better. There is no doubt that she’ll bring him up if ever she feels the need to discuss him.
Being your friend’s support system and assisting her on her journey to healing internally is probably the most helpful thing you can do for her. Seeing her in bad spirits over an individual who was never worth her time may be bothersome, but depending on the temporary fixes alone may not be the answer in this particular situation.
Written By: Essence Mason