Youth, love and synergy make a great recipe for the perfect relationship right? Wrong! Well at least it was for Debbi. It wasn’t until years later that she discovered her teenage love and partner was not only cheating but preying, playing and keeping his sexual desire for men on the low.
“From Craigslist to Backpage…you name it, this man was all over the place looking for the nearest spots to hook-up with other couples for sex.” Words could not express the deceit, the pain and the blow Debbi’s heart had taken when she discovered the man she had known for over 20 years and with whom she had been in a relationship with for nine months, was playing her for a fool. “I knew his family. We grew up together. Everything was perfect. How could it not be?” She questioned. “I thought I knew everything about him.” The first time she suspected him of cheating was when he was in the shower and received a text message from another woman that read “I love you, babe.” Confronted and cornered, he admitted it was a fling but that didn’t stop him from pursuing extracurricular activities outside of the relationship.
“You’d think as an ex-detective he’d be slyer about how he moved; but nope… he wasn’t.” When asked how she found out about his sexcapades and down low doings with other men she said. “I simply typed his screen name in Google and every account he owned on porn sites popped up. From Big Black Women to Suck Book (an X-rated version of Facebook for adults), he had it all.” Debbi collected as much information as she could. She had even created a fake account of her own but she didn’t befriend him. “I wanted to collect all of the evidence I could. I took screenshots of everything and presented him with the evidence only for him to say his ex-had framed him.”
But that was a story Debbi wasn’t buying. And she didn’t find out about his deep desire for men until she got a hold of one of his profiles and saw that his sexual orientation was marked as “bisexual.” Oddly, that didn’t stop Debbi from trying to work things out. Not even the time she had returned home after a heated argument to find him sitting at the computer with a towel around his waist and glaring at the naked woman on the screen. His excuse? He was doing homework. “The saddest thing about it is that he had no filter. This man was using the family computer to perform these searches and create these profiles. His children used that computer!”
“I checked his searches and found out that he had been seeking couples to hook up with for threesomes and [transsexuals].” The last straw was when the two had gone out for a night on the town and a gay guy approached him. “He was nervous as hell. That’s when I knew I had to let him go.” It was more than obvious that the two of them had some kind of contact. “The way he reacted said it all.” The next day Debbi packed her bags and moved out.
“It wasn’t easy. He made numerous attempts to contact me but I blocked him on social media and changed my number. And his family knew the whole time. They knew how deceitful he was and no one ever said a word. That really hurt.”
When asked how she recovered from such a devastating event she said, “Having a strong support system is what kept me going and if it weren’t for my best friend I don’t know where I’d be. She smelled his bullsh*t a mile away. She warned me but I didn’t listen. The best advice I could offer is listen to your gut instinct and get out while you can!”
WRITTEN BY: Tahanee Roberts
Follow Tahanee on IG @totallytahanee