All good things come to an end, including relationships… You love your man and want nothing but the best for him however, he’s not the best for you and breaking the news is difficult. Letting him down easy is hard and being sympathetic towards his feelings doesn’t make things any easier. Is there a way out of the situation that doesn’t leave the both of you bitter?
True Feelings or Triggered Emotions
The first thing you need to do is identify your emotions and where they are deriving from. For example, if you and your partner had a disagreement, naturally you are going to be angry and feel somewhat reluctant about reconciling things (at that moment) but if the feeling of wanting to end the relationship is something that wasn’t triggered by a specific situation then its time to embrace those feelings and accept the fact that it may be time to end your relationship.
Communicate How You Feel
Do not leave them in the dark and left wondering why you’ve become so distant. The same way you feel the need to let him know when he forgets to put the top back on the toothpaste or how he failed to put the seat down on the toilet, is the same way you need to let him know how you feel about the relationship! You usually move promptly when informing him of the above, the only difference is this time you can leave out the attitude, bass in your tone and neck-rolling.
Have You Exhausted All Your Resources?
The slightest inclination or desire to make things work could be worth looking into. The smallest or faintest speck of “What if” can become “Why didn’t” if you aren’t honest with yourself and if you haven’t tried different tools and resources that could repair and improve your relationship. Maybe couples therapy or possibly taking some time apart can be the deal-breaker or -maker you need.
Don’t Try To Force Things
Don’t use the children, financial stability or the fact that you two have been together for years as an excuse to stay in a situation you are unhappy with. Not only are you depriving yourself of happiness but you are also hindering your partner from possibly finding happiness. And if it’s constant bickering going on within the home then you are only creating a negative and toxic environment.
Let Them Down Easy and Listen
Do not start the conversation out by blaming them and reminding them of all of the horrible things they’ve done that has lead you to your decision. Keep it clean, kind and straight to the point. Remind them of how much you love them but just not in a way you see that’s healthy for either one of you. Displaying hate and anger will only breed animosity between you two. Being compassionate to their emotions is very important. Remember you aren’t telling them how much you love them, you’re telling them that you are no longer in love with them. Let them respond and express how they feel. Listen.
When the passion and desire to resuscitate an old dying love has revealed it’s ugly head, there isn’t much you can do but embrace it no matter how hard it is or how much it hurts. Staying in a relationship that you are no longer happy with creates problems that may be more damaging in the long run.
WRITTEN BY: Tahanee Roberts
Follow Tahanee on Instagram: @TotallyTahanee