With social media documenting every coffee shop we attend, our fabulous matte nail polish, and who we’re crushing on every Monday, it’s easy to feel comfortable with the amount of accessibility we have to someone’s current or past life. When it comes to bae, and you find yourself second guessing a detail of his past, a small discreet investigation can give you that peace of mind you’re searching for.
First, make the decision to not dig too deep to the point of no return. This includes partaking in actions that could be detrimental to your relationship such as the invasion of privacy, loss of trust and plain old lying. Essentially, there are other ways of checking up on your partner. Stay away from cliché snooping such as looking through his draws, incorporating the reading of his comments from 172 week old photos on Instagram into your daily schedule and locking his phone after so many failed attempts to figure out his passcode.
The best resource to gain the most information about your partner’s past is from your partner himself. Find ways to incorporate what it is that you want more information about and bring it up during random times. For example, when the two of you are at a family gathering, innocently mention that “family trip” to the Bahamas that your partner told you about but has never been able to provide any keepsakes from or at least a picture. If the family doesn’t seem to recall this great summer vacation that you heard about, you’ve now received your answer.
In the end, the depth of how far you’re willing to go to dig into your partner’s past may provide some insight into your own security within your relationship. On one side, if his story does indeed check out then no one needs know about your investigation. On the other, if you do find something you now have the choice of addressing it or not. Despite the outcome, nothing will go back to normal after choosing to go down the rabbit hole, so choose wisely.
Written By: Jamileth Hudson