It used to be a controversy over whether or not two people should live together before marriage, but over time the norm has become for couples to move in together after they’ve been in a relationship for a long time. Now, some people will actually wait until engagement to move in with their partner, but this still goes against the ancient tradition of waiting until marriage. Okay, so we know the saying that goes, “You never really know a person until you live with them,” so it makes sense to want to be cautious when thinking about marriage. However, divorce rates are still high in this brand new age and premarital cohabitation could be a cause. Was there something to this ancient rule of waiting until marriage that our generation is missing out on? While moving may seem like the sensible thing to do, is it really a good idea to shack up with your partner before marriage?
Honestly, cohabitation before marriage works sometimes, but is it worth it? The answer to that question is NO. A lot of couples, especially young couples between 21-35 years of age, experience great amounts of drama over senseless matters once they move in together. Arguing over him playing video games, keeping the toilet seat up, not washing dishes, or him saying that he’s tired of you snoring every night, are little arguments that shouldn’t even happen between a couple that’s not married. These type of arguments can lead to break ups and/or cheating and unhappiness before the two of you get to the promised land (a.k.a. marriage). While moving together may seem like the sensible thing to do to avoid these arguments, it could actually lead to or cause these arguments to happen if you both aren’t really ready to live together.
Even if you think you’re ready, nine times out of ten you aren’t or your partner isn’t. Rena, 37, from Illinois stated, “I’ve known maybe nine couples that lived together before marriage, and only about three of those couples actually got married. I don’t think it’s smart to live together.”
Now we all know that sometimes in love it’s hard for us to do the “smart” thing, so try thinking about it the way Surai put it. Surai, 28, from Illinois stated, “We were gonna do it, me and my fiance, but then we thought about it like…it would just take away from the excitement of living together as a married couple. The excitement of getting to know each other all over again, getting to see different sides of each other. We know there’ll be good and bad habits brought to the light, but when two people have committed to loving each other, it just makes it easier to live together and avoid the drama.”
Written By: Kahina Ray