Will Miss Becky please raise her hand right now? As I think about that phrase I can hear Plies’ southern accent drooling out the words at the beginning of his infamous hit, “Becky.” If you’re familiar with the song then you’re aware of what it insinuates: that white women are more open to fellatio, hence the stereotypical white girl name “Becky” replacing the word “blowjob.” Was Plies simply speaking from his personal experience, or is it a universal truth that Black women are less open to performing fellatio?
“I’m giving if he’s giving.” That’s a basic summary of what Molly, a character from Issa Rae’s hit HBO television show, “Insecure,” reveals to her girlfriends. It was this specific scene from season two, episode 6 that led to the talented Issa Rae receiving backlash for the outdated views that were expressed among Issa and her friends regarding blowjobs.
Not only was it implied that black women dislike performing fellatio, but it mentioned that our lack of openness to fellatio is the reason why so many Black men are marrying White women. Say what?
First of all, Black women are the creators of “giving head,” as some of us call it. Okay, so there’s no real evidence on that… but, if you could research the first woman to ever perform fellatio, she would probably be a Black woman.
Issa Rae expressed where her views derived from and she referenced a past stereotype about blowjobs being a “White girl thing.” The keyword here is “past.”
“I think people are way more sexually free and liberal currently,” Rae said. Okay, girl! Way to get back in the game from that screw up. While she may have not gotten the conversation accurate, she definitely made a valid point about this generation being more sexually free. We have come a long way from tight-lipped and shameful conversations on oral sex.
To test this belief, we went to see what some women were saying.
When asked how she felt about Black women being less open to fellatio, Chelle, 25, from Chicago, stated, “Black women aren’t less open to giving head. We’re very prideful and we’re proud of giving head. We like to please our men. It’s just not a big deal. There’s not a stigma tied to it anymore like you’re a hoe for giving a guy head, it’s a normal thing. Honestly, it has a lot to do with age and maturity, and whether or not she’s comfortable with the guy.”
Kayla, 27, from Philly, stated, “I have black and white girl friends and we all feel the same way, oral sex is just sex…it’s a part of the act. We don’t even think twice about it we just do it.”
Elise, 27, from Chicago shared her thoughts as well. “I don’t think black women are less open to oral [sex],” she said. “I feel like White women give head to anybody just off the strength & most of the time drunk. I think as a Black woman we do it but just not as vocal about it to the public.”
All three women made great points! There was a time when Black women were stereotyped for going downtown, no one wanted to be called “Superhead.” Thankfully, that ship has sailed! We no longer care about what anyone has to say, thus flipping the narrative on our openness, or lack thereof, toward oral sex. Like fine wine, Black women get better with age and not just physically, but mentally as well.
As Chelle mentioned, I believe age and maturity plays an important role on our views regarding blowjobs. Ten years ago as a teenager, blow jobs were the LAST thing on my list of things to do. Honestly, I thought it was something that only prostitutes did. However, fast forward ten years later and my views have certainly shifted. Perhaps Black women experience sexual liberation at a later age than White women, which creates the illusion that we’re less open to performing fellatio in comparison to them. Illusions are just as fake as Trump’s hair, and over time they fade away. In reality Black women are just as open to going down on their man as they are to sucking on a popsicle, we were just a little more discreet in our endeavors…but now the cat is out the bag!
So here’s to the Black woman who is proud of pleasing her man sexually! For the woman who is not so confident in her fellatio skills, click here to read up on some ways to improve!
What do you think about Black women’s openness to performing oral sex on their men? Leave your comments below!
Written By: Kahina Ray
Follow Kahina on Instagram: @_k.ray