We all know how important growth and change is to having a fulfilling life. Although growing is something we all do, what happens when you’re growing but your partner isn’t or vice versa? What happens when the guy you met at 18 years old is still behaving like a teenager when he’s 21 years old?
Well, the problem is that everyone doesn’t grow at the same pace, and because of this problem we may out grow our partners. Again, growing is completely natural for everyone to do, but who really wants to acknowledge having the feeling that you’re growing apart from someone you love? On the list of top 10 happy feelings, that feeling probably won’t make the list. This is why most people are in denial when it’s really obvious; you and your partner are growing apart. If you can’t believe that it’s happening in your relationship or if you really just can’t see the signs, keep reading below to discover three signs that you’re growing apart.
- Distance – You’re distancing yourself from him, and he’s distancing himself from you. He’s staying out later so he doesn’t have to be around you long, you’re declining dates because you don’t want to be around him, etc. You’re happiest when you’re not with your partner because there’s nothing there; there’s nothing interesting, nothing valuable, and your time spent together is dull. Phone calls are avoided and conversations are shorter because you don’t want to talk to each other due to a lack of interest.
- You’re not on the same page – You don’t have anything in common anymore and you just can’t relate to each other. You’re focused more on your future and he’s focused more on living in the moment and having fun, or he’s focused on planning and saving and you just want to splurge every time you go shopping. His main priority is his career while yours is the club. You’re very ambitious and want to live lavish, while he wants a more mediocre life. You’re ready for a family but he wants to wait until marriage. When your beliefs and goals are not on the same page, you two won’t see eye to eye. You’re both simply heading in different directions and paths in life.
- Awkwardness – Do you ever talk to someone and recognize them but you still feel like you’re talking to a stranger? When growing apart, being around each other is awkward because you feel like you’re around a stranger, even though you could’ve known this person for years. Look out for closed body language, forced conversations, and extremely little eye contact. You feel like strangers to one another because you don’t know each other or understand each other anymore. Neither of you are the person you once were before, and your relationship has become the act of two brand new human beings having to pretend like they’ve known each other for years, and this is extremely awkward.
As bad as you may feel if you discover any of these signs in your relationship, you still shouldn’t ignore them. Growth is essential to you and your partner, and neither of you should hinder change from occurring. The tricky thing with relationships is that growth can either help or hurt it, and you two can either grow together or grow apart. If you notice any of these three signs, nine times out of ten it’s time to move on from your mate and continue to blossom on your own.
Written By: Kahina Ray